Smile At Your Own Risk

My first ‘feelings’ post. I promised myself I would never write one of these, but It’s important to keep it real, ladies and gents.

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday. Little M was born right after I turned 27, so my year was spent being a new mom. It was full of highs – her laughter, dancing, first wave & vacation – but looking back I mostly think about the lows – the loneliness, anxiety, guilt & disappointment – and that really made me think.

People are always telling me how happy I am. That they have never seen me without a smile. For the most part, their right. I usually appear happy – full of smiles at work, on social media, and at social gatherings. Someone said this to me just today, and that, coupled with my birthday, inspired me to write this.

If all I can remember are the low points, than how do these people think I am so happy?

A family member once told me this in response to my struggle with disappointing friendships: ‘You need to stop being so seemingly perfect. Let people see who you really are, and then they will be able to be there for you. If they think you’re doing great, they won’t think you need them.’

Those people who see me every day at work and think I am the happiest person in the world, a year ago I would be thankful to hear you think my life is perfect. I wanted to put off that facade. Now, I wish I could invite you back in time, a month into being a new mom and only one friend came to visit and brought me dinner. The days I spent checking my phone to yet again have no one check on me and my new baby. The wishing I was vulnerable. The tears I still have when I leave baby classes and I still haven’t made a mom friend.

I am so done with that facade. I want people to see the real me, because I think I’m becoming a pretty cool chick, and I am proud of that.

So here is my chance. I usually don’t ‘do’ birthdays. But what better time than to declare your ‘goals’ and wishes for your year ahead. So here goes nothing…my letter to 28.

Dear 28,

I promise to be as real as real can get. I will be open, vulnerable, and plain ole’ Lizzy. I won’t care about what people think and I will just live my true life. Please let me see the good in each day. To remember how lucky I am to have  the family I have. Forgive the people  who haven’t been there for me when they were supposed to. Heal our  friendships and make them stronger than before. Help me be more compassionate and patient. Make me strong enough to ask for help. Create a wife, mom, work, friend, daughter balance that makes me and everyone else happy. Keep my family healthy and safe. Help me grow in every way. I can’t wait to look back at 28 like BOOM, I did it! I became the person I knew I could be.

And please, please, please, bring me a nice mom friend, or two, who I can have wine nights with and (nicely) gossip about life.

Xx, Lizzy



I started this blog to share my feelings on motherhood, and I hope at least one mom out there let’s go of who she thinks she should be, embrace what she wants to be, and goes after it!

True Life: I’m not Pinterested

Pinterest. The digital mood board. You drive me crazy. Why? Because I love you, and hate you. I love spending countless hours (when I should be sleeping or working out) looking through your beautiful photos, pinning the “easy” ones, and planning when I will use the beautiful creation I just pinned. Well now that I am ten months into this mom thing I’ll tell you when I used those beautiful creations… N E V E R ! My 776 pins are all hopeless dreams. Those “easy” creations are not so easy when you have a baby and a full time job.

Let’s be real though. Pinterest is great for us moms who find something they like that happens to have a direct link to purchase on Etsy. Now that’s MY kinda pin. My daughters first birthday will be beautiful as will all birthdays, holidays, and everything after that. But about 5% of those things will be homemade. Pinterest stress is a real thing, and that’s one disease I will be avoiding.

So you “Pinterest Mommies” : so glad you have endless amounts of time to create these magical crafts. For those you don’t do it for the praise, I’m happy you genuinely love it. And maybe one day, I’ll have the time (and patience) to join all of you.

But in the meantime, if anyone asks….yes, I got the idea off of Pinterest 😉




I am 1 in 10

This is the first time I have ever said this to so many people. I am 1 in 10 and I have PCOS. Something I used to be so ashamed of I am now writing a post about, on the internet. PCOS: Polycystic ovary syndrome: Abbreviated PCOS. Polcystic ovary syndrome is a condition in women characterized by irregular or no menstrual periods, acne, obesity, and excess hair growth. PCOS is a disorder of chronically abnormal ovarian function and hyperandrogenism (abnormally elevated androgen levels). It affects 5-10% of women of reproductive age, and it SUCKS.

September is PCOS Awareness Month. PCOS is so common in young woman you most likely know someone who has it. (hi friends & family, that’s me!) My doctor told me when I was 12 I had this. I hadn’t put much thought into it until I got older. I was ashasmed when I was a teenger, even in college. I would never ever mutter the phrase let alone TELL someone I had PCOS. Today, I’m like hey, I have PCOS. It makes me hormonal, heavy, hairy, anxious, depressed and ‘infertile.’

I just learned that this month is awareness month and it made me stop and think about how my diagnosis actually has an affect on everything I do in life. In 2014 I lost 40 lbs. I had to work way harder than I could’ve imagined to lose that weight. I ate less than 1,000 calories a day and went to the gym 10 times a week. But I had to. Because my body doesn’t work like the ‘average’ person. I worked my ass off (literally) to get pregnant. I think the disease has made me feel like I’m not normal. Why can every other woman eat a cheeseburger and not gain two pounds? Why can they not work out and just look great? Why do they not have anxiety?

Now that I am no longer embarrassed I am proud to say that I have PCOS and I am fighting for my health. I don’t use it as an excuse to say oh I can’t lose weight or oh I have anxiety because of this, but I do want people to know what I’m up against to not feel sorry for me, but to be like hey, that girl is doing great despite the crap she has to deal with.

So many women are not as lucky as I am. Yes I have to work REALLY hard to lose weight, be healthy, and get pregnant and yes sometimes I complain about it, but I always remember that no matter what some women with PCOS do, they can’t lose weight or get pregnant. I am 1 in 10 – but I am the lucky 1. And who knows what the future will bring with a second baby, ovarian cancer, etc. But for now, writing this has made me realize I need to embrace my flaws and love the life (and body) I have been given.

So that being said. Be nice to people. You literally have no idea what they have going on and stop giving unwarranted advice like ‘eat less.’ ‘workout more,’ ‘use ovulation kits,’ ‘just don’t be anxious  – because I do ALL of those things and still struggle.

If you want to learn more feel free to ask me, happy to chat about it! Or visit