Smile At Your Own Risk

My first ‘feelings’ post. I promised myself I would never write one of these, but It’s important to keep it real, ladies and gents.

Tomorrow is my 28th birthday. Little M was born right after I turned 27, so my year was spent being a new mom. It was full of highs – her laughter, dancing, first wave & vacation – but looking back I mostly think about the lows – the loneliness, anxiety, guilt & disappointment – and that really made me think.

People are always telling me how happy I am. That they have never seen me without a smile. For the most part, their right. I usually appear happy – full of smiles at work, on social media, and at social gatherings. Someone said this to me just today, and that, coupled with my birthday, inspired me to write this.

If all I can remember are the low points, than how do these people think I am so happy?

A family member once told me this in response to my struggle with disappointing friendships: ‘You need to stop being so seemingly perfect. Let people see who you really are, and then they will be able to be there for you. If they think you’re doing great, they won’t think you need them.’

Those people who see me every day at work and think I am the happiest person in the world, a year ago I would be thankful to hear you think my life is perfect. I wanted to put off that facade. Now, I wish I could invite you back in time, a month into being a new mom and only one friend came to visit and brought me dinner. The days I spent checking my phone to yet again have no one check on me and my new baby. The wishing I was vulnerable. The tears I still have when I leave baby classes and I still haven’t made a mom friend.

I am so done with that facade. I want people to see the real me, because I think I’m becoming a pretty cool chick, and I am proud of that.

So here is my chance. I usually don’t ‘do’ birthdays. But what better time than to declare your ‘goals’ and wishes for your year ahead. So here goes nothing…my letter to 28.

Dear 28,

I promise to be as real as real can get. I will be open, vulnerable, and plain ole’ Lizzy. I won’t care about what people think and I will just live my true life. Please let me see the good in each day. To remember how lucky I am to have  the family I have. Forgive the people  who haven’t been there for me when they were supposed to. Heal our  friendships and make them stronger than before. Help me be more compassionate and patient. Make me strong enough to ask for help. Create a wife, mom, work, friend, daughter balance that makes me and everyone else happy. Keep my family healthy and safe. Help me grow in every way. I can’t wait to look back at 28 like BOOM, I did it! I became the person I knew I could be.

And please, please, please, bring me a nice mom friend, or two, who I can have wine nights with and (nicely) gossip about life.

Xx, Lizzy

 

 

I started this blog to share my feelings on motherhood, and I hope at least one mom out there let’s go of who she thinks she should be, embrace what she wants to be, and goes after it!

319 comments

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  67. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  68. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  69. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  70. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  71. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  72. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  73. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  74. A lot of thanks for all of the hard work on this site. Betty takes pleasure in setting aside time for internet research and it’s easy to understand why. Most of us notice all relating to the dynamic tactic you offer effective things on this web site and even strongly encourage participation from people on that topic while our simple princess is in fact discovering a lot of things. Enjoy the remaining portion of the year. You’re the one conducting a terrific job.

  75. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  76. If you’re still on the fence: grab your favorite earphones, head down to a Best Buy and ask to plug them into a Zune then an iPod and see which one sounds better to you, and which interface makes you smile more. Then you’ll know which is right for you.

  77. I together with my friends happened to be examining the good helpful tips on the blog and suddenly came up with a terrible feeling I had not expressed respect to the blog owner for those secrets. These young boys were definitely as a consequence warmed to learn them and have in fact been loving those things. I appreciate you for genuinely very helpful as well as for picking out variety of superior areas most people are really wanting to discover. My very own honest apologies for not expressing appreciation to you sooner.

  78. Thanks so much for providing individuals with an extraordinarily superb opportunity to read critical reviews from this blog. It is always so awesome and as well , full of a great time for me personally and my office fellow workers to search your blog at the very least 3 times in a week to study the fresh things you have. And definitely, I’m also always pleased for the fabulous guidelines served by you. Some 1 areas in this article are completely the most effective we have ever had.

  79. I precisely needed to thank you so much all over again. I do not know the things that I would have gone through without the entire techniques provided by you regarding such topic. It previously was a very frightening circumstance for me personally, however , finding out the specialized strategy you handled that forced me to leap with delight. Now i’m happier for the support and have high hopes you really know what a powerful job your are undertaking training some other people using your websites. I am sure you’ve never come across any of us.

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  106. I wanted to send you one little bit of word to finally say thank you over again for all the pleasing methods you’ve featured on this site. This is so tremendously generous of you in giving unreservedly precisely what most of us would have sold as an ebook to generate some dough on their own, particularly seeing that you might well have tried it in the event you considered necessary. These ideas in addition served like the good way to fully grasp other people have the same desire similar to my own to know the truth way more with respect to this problem. I know there are several more pleasurable occasions up front for folks who start reading your site.

  107. I must express my respect for your generosity in support of those individuals that need help with the area of interest. Your special dedication to getting the message all-around had become incredibly helpful and has without exception helped ladies much like me to get to their endeavors. The valuable hints and tips indicates much to me and extremely more to my colleagues. With thanks; from everyone of us.

  108. I wanted to write a quick word in order to say thanks to you for the splendid techniques you are giving at this site. My considerable internet lookup has at the end of the day been recognized with excellent ideas to go over with my family members. I would say that we website visitors are undeniably lucky to be in a fine network with many perfect people with beneficial techniques. I feel somewhat privileged to have come across your entire website page and look forward to many more enjoyable times reading here. Thanks a lot once again for all the details.

  109. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  110. Sorry for the huge review, but I’m really loving the new Zune, and hope this, as well as the excellent reviews some other people have written, will help you decide if it’s the right choice for you.

  111. The Zune concentrates on being a Portable Media Player. Not a web browser. Not a game machine. Maybe in the future it’ll do even better in those areas, but for now it’s a fantastic way to organize and listen to your music and videos, and is without peer in that regard. The iPod’s strengths are its web browsing and apps. If those sound more compelling, perhaps it is your best choice.

  112. Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 players over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (classic & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few years I’ve settled down to one line of players. Why? Because I was happy to discover how well-designed and fun to use the underappreciated (and widely mocked) Zunes are.

  113. I’ll gear this review to 2 types of people: current Zune owners who are considering an upgrade, and people trying to decide between a Zune and an iPod. (There are other players worth considering out there, like the Sony Walkman X, but I hope this gives you enough info to make an informed decision of the Zune vs players other than the iPod line as well.)

  114. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  115. Zune and iPod: Most people compare the Zune to the Touch, but after seeing how slim and surprisingly small and light it is, I consider it to be a rather unique hybrid that combines qualities of both the Touch and the Nano. It’s very colorful and lovely OLED screen is slightly smaller than the touch screen, but the player itself feels quite a bit smaller and lighter. It weighs about 2/3 as much, and is noticeably smaller in width and height, while being just a hair thicker.

  116. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

  117. The new Zune browser is surprisingly good, but not as good as the iPod’s. It works well, but isn’t as fast as Safari, and has a clunkier interface. If you occasionally plan on using the web browser that’s not an issue, but if you’re planning to browse the web alot from your PMP then the iPod’s larger screen and better browser may be important.

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